The mess hall on Serenity. The galley has a series of storage
bins and cabinets. A counter separates the galley from the general mess
area. A coffee pot sits on the countertop. Wash sits at the crew dining
table facing the galley. He has a coffee cup in front of him and in
each hand he holds a toy dinosaur: a Triceratops and a T.Rex. The
dinosaurs are speaking through Wash.
This incessant need to dominate those around you. It isn't healthy.
Your words are full of weakness. When I rip out your throat, your
words will die.
This is exactly what I was talking about.
Mal enters from the right and heads for the coffe pot. Pours a cup
We're almost loaded. Just waiting on Inara. She commed in and said she
was on her way. Should be here in no more'n 15 minutes. I wanna be in
the air in twenty. (Takes a sip.) I figured you'd be in the
I was hovering. I'm not allowed to hover. Hovering will not be a part
of this marriage.
She kicked you out.
Mal (raises the cup to his lips to hide the slight
Doc said she'll be fine. No need to worry so.
She's my wife, Mal. I get to worry. I want to worry. I made it a part
of our vows: love, honor, and worry. I keep my vows.
Mal (sounding bored)
Right. You've got 19 minutes to devote to your vows. Then we're in the
Mal exits left with his coffee.
He's so strong. And forceful.
I will kill you now.
They fight with much melodrama. Kaylee and River enter right, each
carrying a small carton of foodstuffs. They head to the galley and
start putting the canned goods away.
Hey. How's Zoe doing?
I brought her a flower. (Holds up a single yellow flower.)
Wash (puts down the toys)
Hello, ladies. Simon gave her something for the pain, so she's
sleeping. River, the flower is lovely. I'll give it to her when she
River (putting the flower behind her back)
It's for Zoe. I'll give it to her myself. (Pause) Kaylee wanted
to get her a kitten.
Oh, did she now? Because my Zoe, she's a kitten lover from, oh, way
back. Many years. Kittens and small, fluffy stuffed bears.
You're just teasin' me now.
Yes. Yes, I am.
Well you know how the Cap'n gets when I bring it up. So I thought that
maybe, you know, what with Zoe being all banged up and all . . .
. . .that Mal would say, 'Kaylee, I believe what we need here is a
No, I guess not. (excitedly) But it would be real good for
chasing rats. I mean Serenity, she's a clean ship. Cleanest ship there
is. But sometimes they just sneak on board, and . . .
And that's what we have Jayne for.
Enter Jayne and Book from the right. They're sweaty from loading
cargo and supplies.
What. What do you have me for? (Pours himself some coffee, trying
to edge around River and Kaylee.)
Book sits at the table with Wash.
Catching rats. You're a rat catcher. (smiles at him) Rat.
You just call me a rat? (nervous now) You're goin' all crazy
again, ain't ya? Just . . . get away from me.
Leave her alone, you big galoot. I was simply enumerating the many
exciting and fulfilling duties that you dispatch aboard this fine
You're just as crazy as she is.
Wash starts to retort but is cut off by Book.
Gentlemen! Is there anything more rewarding than the exhaustion one
feels at the end of an honest day's work? (They both stare at
him.) Yes. Well. How's Zoe?
She's gonna be OK. Simon said he caught it in time; she just needs to
rest and heal.
So what - the doc got her roped to the bed?
Nooo, Jayne. He didn't tie her up. (Lightly) He drugged her.
Oh. Oh, she's gonna be pretty worked up about that. (to River)
You should warn your brother he might wanna make himself scarce when
she wakes up.
Simon is very brave.
He ain't never seen Zoe when she's riled. I'd start runnin' for my
Hey! This is my wife you're talking about. My bao-be. (to
River) I know of a secret compartment on the bridge that even Zoe
and Mal never found.
Book (to River)
He's joking. Zoe has far too much common sense to get angry because
the doctor was doing his job. Everything will be fine. (to Wash)
The Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways. If Zoe hadn't been
thrown, Simon never would have found that parasite until it was too
late. We have much to be thankful for.
Amen to that, Shepherd. Amen to that.
She saved us. She and the captain. I'm not afraid of her. And neither
is Simon. Besides, (looks at Wash) I understand jokes. I used to
have those. (points at the dinosaurs) But I was a little girl
Yeah, well, Wash ain't that much different.
Wash holds up the T.Rex so that it's facing Jayne.
Another of my kind! Large and with a very small brain.
Jayne (putting down his coffee)
Anytime, lizard boy.
Mal enters from left.
Did someone call a meetin'? Cuz nobody told me. Or maybe it's a
strike. That's it, right? You're all sittin' here workin' on a list of
grievances. Here's one to add: Your captain is right unhappy and is
considerin' firin' the lot of you and takin' on a whole new crew.
(They all start stirring) Wash, Inara just hooked up. We're
leavin'. Now. Kaylee, lock it up.
Mal exits left and bumps into Simon entering the mess. Simon heads
for the coffe pot, finds it empty.
Zoe? Is everything OK?
They are now the only two in the mess.
She's fine, Wash. Really. She's going to be weak for a few days, but
she'll be back on her feet in no time. (Stretches his arms and
yawns.) Between you and the captain, I'm surprised that I was able
to work on her at all.
First I had to work around you - until Zoe kicked you out.
Yessss, I remember that. What about the captain?
He came in a little later, while Zoe was out. He, I don't know - he .
. . hovered. I had to keep asking him to move.
Say what you will about Captain Reynolds, he's really quite maternal
when it comes to his crew. By the way, please don't tell him I said
that. I'm fairly certain that he'd shoot me.
Mal (out of sight)
Wash (muttering as he hurries out)
He was hovering. He gets to hover.
Simon sits tiredly at the table. He picks up the T.Rex and
absent-mindedly taps it against the tabletop as he thinks of other
things. He notices what he's doing.
Hunh. (Starts to make it walk across the table) Rarrrrr!
The Triceratops rattles slightly against the tabletop as Serenity
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